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LOVEDAY: Are You worth being loved?

DAGBOK • Permalink • 0
 
It has been a while ago I wrote something on my blog. Somehow the Facebook posts have taken over and this is not right. The website and the blog must be the main media to transfer our thoughts and feelings to others. There is much more freedom in having your own space on the Internet but being limited by the AI-filters, the terms and conditions built in communities.
 

So it is that day today when we are supposed to show our love to those we care about. Such a day is strange in my opinion. I think every day is a day to show love and respect. If we care about somebody, if we want to keep them in our life, we must love them every day by giving them attention, understanding and space. That space where they can feel free to choose what they want to do or just do nothing. 

 
Love is not flowers and presents but honesty and trust. It took me many years to realize it. Commerce and propaganda program our minds that we must buy false fragrance to be liked, we must wear a certain brand to be beautiful and important, train our body to achieve a certain shape, we must give a material thing to show our intentions. This is not true. Nobody tells us that we must cultivate our soul and develop our personality by balancing our ego.

Love is about being comfortable with someones' natural state, with their nudity and simplicity. Being able to see the wealth of the soul who suffered and learned, is a feeling of deep love and indescribable comfort. Knowing that in your weakness, your partner will not leave, knowing that your special one will do anything but hurt your feelings. 

I think I learned to love a man in my 40’s, now I have a task left, another lesson – to learn loving my growing child the way I described above. It is not easy, for the love between man and a woman (EROS) is completely different from the love between a parent and a child (STORGE). Yet the terms and conditions are the same.

 
We are living in a world where loneliness is destroying peoples´ souls. Loneliness is a hard lesson for the ego. The ego must learn to love; to listen, to compromise, to tolerate, to understand, to be patient, to be quiet, to be honest, to step aside and give space to the one we love. Yet we must never turn those compromises into a constant pattern of emotional or mental torture. A feeling of comfort and security must be there all the time, not only when the sun is shining but when the storm is raging. This balance is so hard to find within oneself. How much we endure and where we draw the line… Only experience can teach us the answer unique for each human individual.

What I have learned by listening to people nowadays that there is a lot of ME, MYSELF and I. They demand a lot: I want my partner to be like this and like that. That is completely ok, but I never hear the least of self-critics… like:

  • What can I offer to a partner? 
  • What can I give? 
  • Have I cultivated my soul so there is something I can contribute to someone else’s life to?
  • Is there anything in my soul that another person could admire and appreciate?

I know my point of view is controversial and I’m tending to sow doubt in many people’s minds but if it is the truth, then this is what is needed. My questions may be the answers to the question ”why we can’t keep or attract the right partner”. Being able to give what someone else needs is the key to the temple of love… 

In this book I found the majority of knowledge a person needs for managing a relationship.

https://www.bokus.com/bok/9781855385054/the-art-of-loving/

https://www.bokus.com/bok/9789127099579/karlekens-konst/
 
 
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